A Good Hurt
by WickedForGood13
Summary: An examination of the Doctor and Amy's feelings during their separation in 'Victory of the Daleks.' Also, what would have happened had the Doctor kissed Amy on the lips rather than on the forehead?
1. Chapter 1

**So, this little plot bunny hit me after watching 'Victory of the Daleks,' and I began to wonder what was going on in the heads of our two lead characters when the Doctor went to the Daleks' spaceship and left Amy behind . . . what sort of feelings that may have incited, etc. Happy reading!**

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><p>Amy could only stand frozen as she watched the Doctor hurry into his blue box and disappear.<p>

Her thoughts were all in a jumble: _Doctor_ – _left_ – _not again_ . . .

_He promised,_ Amy mentally wailed. _He promised that he'd never leave. I don't care if he's doing it for my safety. I want to be with him, and if we go, at least we'd go together. Wait, he's a Time Lord – he can regenerate. But me – I'd be dead. Who cares?_

_He would,_ Amy's conscience whispered. _That's why he left you behind this time – because he cares._

_Yeah, right. He left me once and didn't come back for twelve years. What's to keep that from happening again?_

_It wasn't his fault._

_So? He's a __**Time Lord**__. He has a __**time machine**__. Once he found out about what happened, why couldn't he just go back and fix things?_

_You wouldn't be who you are today if he had._

_Argh – I can't believe that I'm arguing with a little voice in my head. Just shut up and leave me alone._

_As you wish. But look at things from all angles before condemning the Doctor for his actions._

Amy shook herself to clear her mind of any errant thoughts regarding the Doctor. Turning to Churchill, she said, "Well, come on. We have a country to save."

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><p>Meanwhile, on TARDIS, the Doctor's thoughts were following a similar path.<p>

_I left her . . . after I'd promised that I wouldn't._

_Did you see her face?_ the Doctor's conscience nagged him.

_Of course I did._

The Doctor briefly closed his eyes, recalling the moment before he'd entered the TARDIS – Amy had looked stunned that he'd even consider leaving her behind.

_Don't you understand?_ he'd pleaded with his eyes. _I couldn't live with myself – in whatever form I took – if something happened to you and I'd been able to prevent it, but didn't._

Then, he'd left, before Amy's heart-wrenching expression completely broke his will.

_It's for her own good,_ the Doctor reasoned. _She has to be safe . . . she just has to be – if only to give me a reason to come back._

The Doctor shook himself from his melancholy thoughts and prepared to confront the Daleks.

_Amy, everything I do, I do it for you._

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><p><strong>Up next: what if, when the Doctor went to kiss Amy's forehead, their lips met instead?<strong>_  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

"Brilliant – all of you!" The Doctor exclaimed. "And you—" here he turned to Amy. He moved to kiss her forehead, but Amy had already been tilting her head – and their lips met, instead.

It was a brief kiss, but one that confirmed their feelings for each other, as well as explained the underlying tension that had been a part of every conversation, every interaction . . . every look, every touch.

They weren't given any time to contemplate what had just happened, though, for everyone around them was offering up their congratulations on having saved the world from total annihilation.

"We'll talk later," whispered Amy, giving the Doctor's hand a reassuring squeeze. He nodded in understanding, and turned to confer with Churchill on the state of the things.

Amy, meanwhile, averted her gaze from the Doctor – _her_ Raggedy Doctor, now – and found herself drawn to Edwin Bracewell, who had remained flat on his back.

The look in his eyes was one of compassion, further evidence that he was more than just a machine created for the Dalek's evil purpose – he was a man.

"Yes," said Amy, answering his unasked question. "He was who I was referring to when I said that I understood what it meant to like someone you weren't supposed to – and that it was a good kind of hurt, a good kind of pain. Even if we hadn't kissed just now, I would continue to follow him from one end of the universe to the other – if just to be near him."

"That's what love is," the Professor observed sagely, "Wanting what's best for the other, even if what's best doesn't include you."

Amy nodded, and suddenly found herself fighting back tears at the Professor's words. She was startled from her reverie by a hand on her shoulder and turned to find the Doctor's kind face not far from her own.

"It's time to go," he said, taking note of the bright sheen in Amy's eyes. "You ready?"

"Yes, Doctor," said Amy, rising to her feet and immediately burying her head in the crook of his neck, her arms wrapping around him in an effort to . . . to what, Amy wasn't sure. Perhaps to convince herself that he was really there, and that he was alive?

"Hey, it's okay," the Doctor whispered, patting her back in a comforting gesture. "Everything's going to be fine, remember?"

Amy gave a watery laugh at hearing the words spoken in her kitchen so long ago. "How could I forget?" she muttered wryly. "I'm with you, after all – no danger involved whatsoever."

"And you'll always have me," said the Doctor fervently, cupping a hand around her head to keep her in place. "I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

Back inside TARDIS, the Doctor and Amy situated themselves on a very roomy couch – the Doctor's arm securely wrapped around Amy while her head rested on his shoulder, both pressed as close to the other as possible – in preparation for an in-depth discussion as to what had happened down in the war room, as well as why the Doctor had felt it necessary to confront the Daleks alone, leaving Amy behind.

For the moment, though, they were content to remain in each other's arms – thoughts of saving the world all but vanished, for the time being.

However, all good things must come to an end, and, in typical Amy fashion, she spoke first, asking, "Why did you leave me?"

"Amy," pleaded the Doctor. "Try to understand . . . if something happened to you, and I'd done nothing to prevent it, I couldn't live with myself – in whatever form I took. That's why, when the Daleks gave me their ultimatum of either saving Earth or destroying them, I raced back here – it was for you, Amy, all of it. If you'd come along, the Daleks might have used your presence to get to me. I needed you to stay where you were, not just to ensure your safety, but to give me a reason for coming back at all. You mean _everything_ to me, Amelia Jessica Pond, and I couldn't have born it had you been harmed because of me."

The Doctor bowed his head to hide the tears threatening to fall. Amy was perceptive, though, and ducked down to be at eye-level, catching a stray tear in the process.

"Thank you," she whispered. "While I don't agree with all that you just mentioned – for one thing, not only am I perfectly capable of taking care of myself, but, if I were to go, I'd rather be with you – I'm flattered that you think so highly of me. And for the record, _you_ are very important to me too."

With that, she pressed a kiss to the wet and salty trail the solitary tear had left along his cheek.

The Doctor could barely breathe. Having Amy so close – and kissing his cheek, no less – was wrecking havoc on the self-control he'd sworn to maintain with his companions.

"A-Amy," he stuttered, gasping for air. "I . . . n-need—"

"What do you need, Doctor?" asked Amy. And, if he hadn't known better, he could have sworn that she was trying to seduce him.

Amy shifted her body so that she was perched on his lap. As she bent over him, she purred, "Is this what you need, Doctor?" before attacking his lips.

Though initially responsive, the Doctor soon stilled under Amy's . . . _ministrations_.

Realizing that she'd lost his interest, Amy quickly retreated to the opposite end of the couch. "I waited fourteen years for you, Doctor," she said. Her tone was part-accusatory, part-anger, and part-hurt. "All the time I was with Rory, I dreamed of being with you. I'd built you up inside my head as this wonderful guy – the classic action hero – and then when you came back, you were even better than I'd imagined. I've loved you since I was a little girl, and I need to know – what happened down in the war room? Was it an accident, something you'd like to forget? Or did it actually mean something to you? 'Cause it sure meant something to me."

"Oh, Amy," whispered the Doctor, as full understanding for what he'd put her through dawned. "Come here."

Powerless to resist his magnetic pull, Amy obeyed, crawling forward on her hands and knees until she was again positioned by the Doctor's side.

In response, the Doctor wrapped an arm around her, effectively pinning her against him.

"Of course it meant something to me," he said, overcome by an emotion that was still foreign to him. "Didn't I just get through saying that you mean everything to me – that you are, in fact, more important than the whole of humanity? So, of course our kiss . . . It wasn't just some spur of the moment thing, or an accident that I'd like to forget – I swear. In fact, I'd like nothing better than to keep on doing what we were doing."

"Really?" asked Amy, a note of hope entering her voice that broke each of the Doctor's hearts.

_She's had so few people to rely on,_ he realized. _And I probably hurt her more than all the rest combined._

"Really, really," he said, smiling down at the spit-fire in his arms.

Amy brought her head to rest on the Doctor's chest, listening to the reassuring _thump-thump_ of his hearts.

"I think I'd like that," said Amy, smiling shyly up at the Doctor.

"Well, in that case . . ." he said, voice trailing off suggestively as he swept her up in his arms and carried her off to his bedroom.

Amy had spent years calling out to the Doctor in her sleep. Now, though, when she called his name, she was very much awake . . .


End file.
